Friday, April 11, 2014

Slow-ass Runner Seeks Same

Let's get one thing straight, shall we?  It's not lonely at the back of the pack.  There are plenty of people next to me and behind me in races.  We are legion, we, the slower-than-thou.

I know there are lots of slower runners out there, because as slow as I am, I have never been last in a race.  Even in the smallest race I've ever run (170 people), 33 people finished behind me - and I was only managing a 13:00 pace that day.

I know they're out there, these 12,13,and 14 minute milers.  They are not shy, they are not afraid to show their faces. They race with joy and with pride, and I salute them for their efforts and wish them well (and sometimes curse them when they pass me).

And yet.....

Where the hell are they?  Outside of these races, where do they congregate?  Why do I never see them out on the streets and paths and trails where I run?

Every time I lace up my shoes and head outside, I am passed by the fleet of foot.  Young, old, and in between, runners lope past me and I am left shuffling along.  Don't get me wrong - I'm ok with solitude.  But it would be nice to be able to chat, sometimes, with another runner.  It would be nice to have someone by my side at mile 8 or 9 when I'm bored and want to stop and go home and eat a bagel (or an entire cake).

I used to think that I'd get faster, and "one day" I'd be able to go join a group run and actually keep up.  "One day" has not arrived.  I'm not getting (much) faster.  And I'm certainly not getting any less lonely.

(Insert big sigh here, cue the violins, etc, etc)

What's a slower runner to do?  Craigslist?  What would my lonely-heart ad sound like?


Slow-ass Runner Seeks Same

Faster friends leaving you behind? In need of a training partner who's more your speed?
If you are a turtle in a land of cheetahs, this is your lucky day! 
Non-threatening, mid-30s female who runs 12-13 minute miles and likes long walks on the . .  .
wait no, wrong ad, what the hell was I saying?   Oh, right.  Running. 

I need a freaking running partner! *sob* Someone who understands that sometimes walking is ok, and that on long runs, snacks are mandatory.  Someone who doesn't wear split shorts in December, and agrees that there's nothing wrong with the occasional tutu. 

If we have similar paces and similar interests, please contact me at 1-800-NoBQJustBS




I may have to start accosting chatting up people after races.  I'm not sure the whole Craigslist thing would work.  I mean, there are some crazy people on the internet.  




Do you have a running partner? How did you meet? 



12 comments:

  1. I love, love, love this post!!! I am also a back of the pack runner :) If you ever run in Georgia, look me up- I'll be a running buddy lol.

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  2. You can always move to LI and join the Runsketeers! We'll run your paces : )

    A more practical solution may be to talk to your running friends about the benefits of doing a weekly long run at a very easy pace. I used to do lunchtime runs with a work friend a few years ago. My normal training pace was about 8:50 and his was about 12:30. We'd run 45 minutes at his pace. I found the experience to be a fun and relaxing opportunity to recover from my more intense workouts.

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    1. The truth is, I don't actually have any local running friends. Whenever I meet friends at races, we've usually all traveled a bit to get there. And since I'm an introvert (you can tell, right?), I have trouble convincing myself to go up to strangers and beg them to run with me. LOL

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  3. Well... the only person with whom I've run on an even semi-consistent basis is Dahlia, and you know how we met. It's just lucky that we happened to live in the same city and run about the same pace. I guess you just need to move! :p

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    1. Hmm.... how could I convince my husband to move so that I can find a training partner? LOL

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  4. Is there a bulletin board where you can post at your LRS? I haven't even paid attention if ours does that or not, but it's a thing with local music stores if you're looking for someone to jam with or an actual band. Runners may do this too?

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    1. That is a good idea. I guess I could ask around. You're so smart... you must be a 79er. ;-)

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  5. Oh, this made me smile!! I love your ad and think it could totally work. The phone # is my favorite part!!! I hope you can find someone to run with - I know it can be helpful. My son prefers the runs when I go with him so he doesn't get bored!

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    1. I need to just get over my shyness (weird, right?) and find a group run and just ask people. They have to be out there somewhere!

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  6. I'm not really a runner ... but when I do run, I jog. 5mph is my pace and about 1 mile is my distance. So I'm not really one you'll see at races. I do want to try a 5k again. My treadmill is my only partner. I've never been a "social" exerciser, but I have recently discovered Zumba and there is something about being in a group. Good luck, I know there are running groups out there. Not something I have any experience with. I remember using a site called "meetup" to find some pick up soccer games. I would love to find a tennis or racquetball partner ... that's not something I can do alone :)

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    1. You can play totally play racquetball by yourself! Isn't that the one where you just hit it against the wall? =)

      Meetup isn't a bad idea - that's where I went to find "mommy groups" when my son was a baby. Jeez, that feels like a lifetime ago!

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